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Directional Filter: Finding your way through life without earplugs

How does one really know what direction they should follow? Is there really a cosmic compass that will lead us to happiness?

Many of us look to our parents to show us how to live, and we tend to follow a similar path through life.

The unwritten rules of life seem fairly obvious. Go to school, get a job, get married, have kids, grow old, retire and try to live it up while waiting to die.

If we are supposed to serve as a guiding light for our children, how should a parent who doesn’t know where they are going lead the way? What use is a lighthouse with a burned out bulb?

I think my compass is broken, but I’m going to follow it anyway.

I have had many professions over the course of thirty years. I am also the holder of several professional certifications currently going to waste. Every course or class seemed essential at the time. How else would I ever become successfully happy?

My career decisions generally come down to two choices. What will make the most money, or what will make me happy?

These two approaches have helped to solidify the notion that in the end money can’t buy you happiness, and happiness isn’t going to provide you money.

I’ve now realized the most important thing money will ever give you, is the ability to buy yourself time. Time away from doing whatever it is you do to make money.

Find some of that happiness by stepping away from your obligations.

Trouble is that we spend the majority of our lives trying to make the money or moving from one obligation to another.

What is the first thing you do when you have a free moment?

Probably check your phone, just to make sure you didn’t miss something. An email, text, or some other notification…

The distractions we are subjected to today are endless. We have so much mindlessness to choose from. How do you get your fix? Streaming an entire season of some new show? Scrolling through Twitter for hours?

Like, may others I have contemplated deleting my social media accounts to remove the distraction. Take away the urge to just check in and see whats going on. See who’s out there traveling, getting new jobs, working on goals, and making tons of money. Making tons of memories.

Sometimes everyone is doing so awesome it makes your everyday uneventful life seem like shit. If I could only be more productive at work, I can end up making more money to pay for everything that I’ve ever wanted and so on and so forth…

Today we are so wrapped up in wants that we have completely forgotten our needs.

Now that I have wasted the few free moments I had been envious for no good reason, I guess I’ll just work on what I really wanted to do later.

Trying to pick a direct path to your optimal life destination has become increasingly difficult.

So many people have a solution to your specific problem, and they all vary just so slightly. Form a new habit, cut out this and that. All of these ideas will most likely work if applied correctly.

You might even be successful in adopting several solutions. But what if you keep getting more options? A few more tweaks here and there.

Even though something is working, you decide to undermine it by trying something that promises even better results.

For example:

I once Googled how to make a living as a writer. Of course, I found tons of useful information to apply, and since the internet knows everything about me, I  now have an untold number of guru’s popping up in my Facebook feed telling me a few hundred different ways to do it.

Not going to lie. I love seeing new tips and tricks arrive every day in emails and random promoted posts. I love to learn new things. There is so much information to consume and so many things to practice. So much work to be done.

Having so much information thrown at me on a daily basis makes me think that I don’t know enough though. That I’m not heading in the right direction.

Second, guessing myself and my work starts to suck. No one likes to suck at anything, so you end up not doing anything so you can’t suck at it.

This has led to me setting a higher priority on consuming information on increasing creative output while resulting in zero creative production. The exact opposite of what I set out to accomplish. So my goal is to adjust priorities accordingly.

But wait…

Maybe I’ll just watch some Netflix instead. That is so much easier than trying to create something I can be proud of.

I should also see what everyone is up to on Facebook. I have a bunch of notifications, so I must be missing something.

On any given day you are subject to so much noise that only serves to divert your attention. Even though everyone is trying to help in their own way, know when to tune them out.

Set priorities, and try to ignore the noise.

 

Why be a writer anyway…

Man holding broken pencil to blank paper while writing letters

Nothing I have ever attempted has been as incredibly fustrating as writing.

There are either not enough ideas, or just too many to choose from. Half baked topics or plots rattling around my head at any given time. Even though I jot them down I never seem to go back and see them through to completion. When I do, I feel like they aren’t worth sharing. Chasing perfection, or something close to it.

Lately I’ve been leaving more drafts laying around than my kids have toys on the floor.

Sometimes it’s just a lack making writing a priority, or over thinking which direction makes the most sense to follow… Should I focus on nonfiction, share what little knowledge and experience life has taught me. Or, let my imagination free to just create! Or, should I even worry about a direction at all? Does it really matter in the long run?

Maybe it’s really a commitment issue. I do struggle to see my personal projects to completion. I tend to start things and then allow them to gather dust.

I have this practice of putting something that I need to finish on my nightstand. My assumption is that the end of the day will be when I finally have a chance to accomplish something creative when I have a little time to myself. It never really turns out that way though. Usually too tired to even try, and then another day goes by without any progress.

While this cycle seems to continue, I do find my mind wandering back to wanting to tell a story. Even if it’s just a short one.

I’m making a commitment to myself to keep going and explore what I really want out of sharing words. Whether that’s ideas, or complete nonsense. After all, the more you do something the better you get at it. Eventually I’ll be able to produce something I can be proud of.

I’ve always thought a solid goal is to affect one life in a positive manner each day. Could be simple as making someone smile, or even not squashing a bug when given the chance. If I can figure out how accomplish this with my words I’ll consider myself a success.

Stop living a life you hate

lydia harper- Unsplash.com

Time for a change…

It hurts. That soul-sucking feeling that you have failed yourself. Living the same day-to-day that just feels like it’s wrong. Like there is so much that you are missing out on.

Most people have found themselves in a situation where the thought of getting out of bed in the morning is downright awful. Having to drive to a cubicle that you despise, and spend the remainder of the day hating every moment.

Before you know it, years have gone by and you begin to feel like you have wasted precious time that can never be regained. Each day feels painful, and you can’t shake the feeling that you are meant to be somewhere else. Someone else. Trouble is that you may not know where that somewhere is, and who the someone needs to be.

Daydreaming of making a change? Not taking any action is the worse thing you can do. Put some thought into what you really want. Just know that being rich, and famous isn’t the answer. Since that’s an unlikely outcome anyway, you need to squash that right now.

You are in control, and no one but you can fix this. Sometimes it’s easy to feel happy for a while, but it gets harder and harder to get yourself off the floor and dust off the sorrow. You have to decide what next. Which door to open. How to proceed before it’s too late and you turn around to see everything has passed you by.

I’m no self-help guru, but I have done this before. I have done this a few times actually. Some attempts were successful, and other not so much. Take a good long look at your soul and commit to change…

1. Do you really know what you really want?

Do you really know what you want out life? Not a shallow “I just want to be happy!” kinda feeling, or an overall “no regrets” attitude. What is going to make you want to get out of bed tomorrow and the next day? What would help you fill the void in order to just survive another day?

I’m not sure that I’ll ever decide what I want to be when I grow up, but I do know what I want out of each day. It’s easy to get caught up in a long-term goal, and that can be a good thing, however when you don’t see any major change or success you might backslide. Pick something you can do tomorrow. Whether it’s something small like starting to work out, or big like moving across the country. Find a way to accomplish that one thing tomorrow.

Depending on the size of your action, it may take a while to see if this step actually helped. Sometimes these steps will only work for a short time. Then the void starts to open again. That is the sign that more work needs to be done. Take a step back and find the next action you can take. Focus on small things during this phase.

I know that some will think is either a crazy waste of time or just stupid. I can only say that it worked for me. How does doing these tiny things help to reinvent myself? Making small changes to the way I do things. Changing up who I hang out with, or even learning a simple new skill all leads to the overall improvement of things in general. The thing about baby steps is that they all add up, and before you know it you have walked a long way to finding what you’re looking for.

The biggest change for me usually involves location…

luca baggio-Unsplash.com
Change of locations leads to a change in perspective. (Luca baggio-Unsplash.com)

2. Change of scenery

I have a thing for sailboats. I grew up in Colorado and couldn’t wait to move someplace the water wouldn’t end at the other side of the lake. The void in my life has been the constant calling of a journey. Always feeling it is time to move to the next place. There was a time in my life I didn’t stay in one place longer than six months.

A change of scenery doesn’t always have to be so dramatic. It could be something smaller like a new paint color, or even a new computer. I find that when things get a little stagnant, if I rearrange things around a little bit it helps to make it new again. I recently moved to a new office, and even though the new area is nowhere near as nice, the color of the new office furniture somehow makes me happy. Again, a small change makes things feel new again.

What if something as simple moving some things around in your life could have a truly profound impact? Small, little things that hit your core… You may not need as big of a move or change as you think you do. Try taking a new route to work, and see how you feel. Pick a new favorite coffee cup.

It might be that your job or even your coworkers are what needs to change. Nothing like moving to a new job, or even a complete career change, to put some perspective back in your life. Don’t be afraid to make changes in your life. Never settle for falling into a boring pattern just because it’s easy or stable.

milada vigerova- Unsplash.com
Plan your trajectory. (Milada Vigerova- Unsplash.com)

3. Hitch your wagon to a star

Now that you have taken some small steps, time step it up. Moving small helps to build momentum. Just as the wind blowing over the water, these small actions will build the waves that will change you forever.

Now you can make it through the day. Now you have some energy left over when you get home from work. You can focus again. This is the time to think ahead and set loftier goals. Make a plan and write it down. Tell others if you want too, or just keep it to yourself. Either way, you need to get excited and feed the new-found passion. Feast on the desire to see yourself in this new place in your life. You can see it right now, can’t you?

What do you need to learn to get to this new place? Don’t know, google it. Write it down and stare at it. What do you need to do with this new knowledge, and how is it going to get you to this new state? How long will it take you to do this? Write it down or draw a picture. Once you do these things you have a plan. You have a map to follow.

It’s easy to get where you’re going if you know how to get there. It doesn’t matter how far you have to go. Whether you are crossing oceans or just the other side of town, you know how to get there. Do the things on your list, and arrive where you want to be.

helloquence- Unsplash.com
Writing a list can be a powerful tool. (eloquence- Unsplash.com)

4. Take stock of what you already have

No matter how much of a low point I’ve found for myself, there has always been something to be grateful for. Always something or someone around at that exact moment that has been important to me. Don’t take this for granted. No matter how low you feel there is still something worth holding on too.

Don’t throw everything away when you decide to move on to the next chapter of your life. You will spend a considerable amount of time thinking back on your actions. A decision that got you into the mess you worked so hard to get out of. Hindsight is truly 20/20. You may not have liked the situation that created the void, but remember what or who helped to fill it. Never ever burn a chapter in your own life. Don’t forget where you are coming from, so you know how to never go back.

You may be young or old. Smart or not, but you know what you need. Believe it or not, you may even know how to fix all the things you don’t like about yourself and the situation you found yourself in. All it takes is a little nudge to help you navigate to the next step, then the step after that. You have more than you think you do. It just might be a little dusty.

5. Just do it dammit!

Action breeds action. If you are anything like me you need to keep moving. Maybe it’s places you need to go, or a new job, or a completely new career. Might even be starting your own business. The most important thing is to keep moving towards that vision you have for yourself.

Be a shark. Don’t stop swimming. It might be slow, steady strokes. You will get there as long as you never give up on yourself. Don’t depend on a helping hand or winning the lotto. Waiting for the world to come and rescue you will never happen. You have to take action, and build the stairs that lead you out of the deep dark hole you made for yourself.

Don’t give up. 

 

How to decide if a free blog will work for you

markus spiske- www.unsplash.com

Why should I pay for hosting when I can blog for free?

This page may contain affiliate links. See my disclosure page for details.

When I first started to get interested in blogging, I found a whole bunch of like-minded people who all claimed that paid hosting is the way to go. I’ll discuss the reasons why a little later, however, I wanted to share some of the things that weren’t included in the tutorials.

My goal was just to write, and eventually find a way to start a business in web design or even educating fellow Americans on navigating health insurance. The keyword here is business. This whole thing has to be an experiment for me.

Blogs have been a great resource on a wide variety of topics and have helped me to learn quite a bit. I wanted to share all the cool things I was learning as well. Contribute a bit to society as well while I enhanced my own skill set. If I can make a few bucks along the way I’d call it a win-win.

Blogging is something that takes quite a bit of time. Depending on what you are wanting to do, using a free blogging platform might work for you. I know the best time to start anything was yesterday, however, take a few minutes to decide for yourself how best to move forward.

Con’s of paid hosting:

Lots of Choices

Before I really learned about affiliate marketing I thought that everyone used Bluehost because they are awesome! Of course, I later learned that they offer the largest commission of the various hosting providers.  Granted I have had good luck with Bluehost thus far, I have seen people post about horrible experiences they had.

I feel that he is an equal opportunity for good and bad with any company, and for that reason, I encourage you to do your own research when it comes to choosing any hosting or another service. A little research goes a long way.

You Are Now A Wed Designer

Keep in mind that once you choose a hosting provider, you then have to set up the site. What to get an email list started? You’re going to need to choose a service. Some are free, but harder to use. Some you have to pay for, and as a result are much more user-friendly.

Not only do you have to decide on what service or plug-in to use, you also have to integrate it with your site.

I like this part as I’m interested in the technical aspects, however, this can be intimidating to someone who isn’t somewhat tech savvy. There are plenty of tutorials to help you get started, and some products have tips that can help you.

No Built-In Audience

Blogging on your own site starts at exactly zero people looking at your content. You have to go out an promote your work on social media and engage with other people. Not only do you have to attract views, but need to keep them coming back. Platforms like Medium come with people who are already reading others posts.

Site Security

It seems that hackers and spammers like to pick on WordPress sites. It’s pretty important to secure your site properly so you don’t lose all your hard work. Run scans frequently and pay attention to any changes that you didn’t make. Make sure you do regular backups and updates as well.

There isn’t a lot of work needed to maintain a site when you first start out, but enough attention is needed that it takes time away from moving forward in reaching your goals.

Pros for paid hosting:

Money!

Since you are renting space on a hosts servers, you can use that space to make money. There are several ways to monetize a blog, and the topic itself deserves another post. Pinterest is full of information on this. Some bloggers will even post income reports that show some incredible amounts. Some in the millions of dollars per year. You will also see these folks selling you a course on how to do it yourself.

Like anything in life, if it’s too good to be true, it most likely is. Blogging is not a get rich quick business model, and these folks have spent a long time growing their audience which can be extremely difficult.

You Get to Be a Web Designer!

I know I also list this as a con, but you have full control over how your site looks and operates. There are so many options that are both free and paid that can tailor your site to the way you want it. There are limitations on what can be done on other platforms.

Own Your Content

You are paying for what you post on your site, so it’s yours. If one of the free blogging sites decides to shut down one day, you might lose everything you have worked for. Not to mention your followers could go away as well. Keep in mind that you can always start for free and move to a paid hosting plan in the future, so there are always options.

It’s Not That Expensive

I don’t like to spend too much money without knowing that there will be a return later on. Honestly, paying for a year of hosting isn’t that expensive and in my mind, the benefits outweigh the cost. Shop around for a package that meets your basic needs, and upgrade later on if you need too. If in the end, you find that you hate it then you won’t be out much money. If you find that you love it, and become successful, you are already in a position to leverage the benefits of a paid site.

Final Thoughts:

In the end, you have to decide how you want to get started. I had a couple free WordPress blogs before I decided to start this one. Take your time and make the choice that works best for you.